He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
