omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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