I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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