so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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