i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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