apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize