I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
