good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
