...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
