I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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