He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
