Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
