how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
