my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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