tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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