that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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