His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
