I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
