Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
