why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
