This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
