she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
