I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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