Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize