So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
