to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
