Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
