Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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