I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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