You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
