Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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