running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
