I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize