If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why did my mother make you get naked?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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