I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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