awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
