Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
