Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
