And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize