I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
