summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
