Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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