Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
