Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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