I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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