My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
