I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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