no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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