My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
