HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
someone owes me an orgasm
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
