you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
