Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
