I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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