This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
