That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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