You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize