Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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