I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
