Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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