He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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