Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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