3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
