just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
