At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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